It confuses me.

I came acrossed a really sad blog today. It was a women, she had 6 children. One of who recently passed away on December 12th. A heavy book shelf fell on him, and it killed him. He was only three. I don't understand why innocent little babies have to be taken away from their families like that. I don't know what I would do if something were to ever happen to Emma. How could I live without her? I wouldn't even want to try. Sometime when Emma is being really crabby, I think to myself that if I could put her back in my womb for the day, a couple days, that would be great. I know, that sounds silly, and now I feel stupid. Some mothers lose their babies forever to honest mistakes, & I still get to watch Emma run around, and shes healthy. I just want to hug all these mommies who have to live everyday without their children. I just don't understand.

My little girl is getting big.

& she gives kisses like there's no tomorrow.

Day 07 - A person you should say sorry to

i'm not sure if "should:" is the right word. But I have always felt like I need to say sorry to my dad. Even though, I know he was the one to screw up and stray from our family - I'm old enough now to get over it. I've never really treating him with respect since I found out what he had done, but I'm 20 now, its time to grow up and move on.

04: Someone you'd give your life for.

This one is very easy. Theres two people that comes to my mind right off the bat. Its probably really easy to guess who: Angel & Emma.
Angel; because, I know that he would be able to take care of Emma better than I would. Like, if something were to happen, and one of us were to die or be killed- I'd hope it would be me. & to be completely honest, I'm not sure if I could handle life without him. I'm not sure if I could be there for Emma 100% if I knew everyday for the rest of my life I wouldnt wake up to Angel being there. & financially; he could make more money than I can. And thats important for a couple who has a child together.
& Emma. Thats obvious. I wouldnt even think twice. If it came down to her life or mine, her's comes first. Always. Forever. She deserves a chance at something amazing, not for it to be cut short. I'd give up everything for her.

11 Months

Happy 11 Months to my big girl.

Emma - If momma could tell you how much I love you, I would. But, I can't. Theres just no way that I can describe it. Still to this day, I look at you and I'm in 'awe'. You're beautiful, you're smart, your smile lights up your entire face - & I created you. With daddies help, of course. You're a good girl, and we're drawn to eachother. I can't explain it- but in a room full of people, you can spot me out and race to me as fast as you're able to crawl. It melts my heart, princess. Mommy is young, but even if mommy was older - it wouldnt change my love for you. I wouldn't love you more, because theres no way I can love you more than I do today. My life is about you, Emma. I will always be here to listen to you, even if its just to cry.

04: A Song That Makes You Sad

Lets see... There are a few songs that make me sad. When they come on I'm brought-en back to a place where my mind shouldn't be. Right now I'm thinking; Pink- Who Knew. For reasons, I'm not going to speak of.

03: A Song That Makes You Happy

Hmm... The first song that comes to my mind is Martina McBride- In my Daughters eyes. I guess thats pretty self explanitory. Its no secret that Emma is basically my entire life. That everything I do is usually revolved around her. So, any song that acknowledges that makes me incrediably happy.