Family.

My Brother, Anthony.

I wish things didnt change. He was my best friend. He was the only person I looked up to. I always listened to him. I wanted to be just like him. I was proud to say he was my brother. He was always on my side, even when I was wrong. He protected me from everyone, and everything. Especially our dad. He tried hard to blind me of the things my dad was doing when he left home. I was his younger sister. He felt the need to protect me, and I always needed him to. Just thinking about him, makes me want to cry. He was absolutely everything to me. The closest a brother and sister could be. I told him everything about my life. Sometimes he got angry at the choices I made and sometimes he didnt. But he always supported me and told me when I should stop seeing someone, or doing something. & like I mentioned, I ALWAYS listened. I had to, I wanted to. I never wanted to disappoint him. I wanted him to be proud of me like I was proud of him.... & then I got pregnant. I disapppinted him. He knew the goals I had for myself, and he and I seen them crashing down. He was so upset, and hurt. He said I could of done better with my life, and had babies later. This is the most I've disappointed him. But like the big brother he was, he forgave me- and accepted my new baby on the way. He accepted Angel and told me everything would be okay. That he would always be there if I needed anything. So, maybe I should dig further back to middle school. I introduced him to my then best friend, and they "fell in love." I always accepted it because I always wanted to b involved. That was 6 years ago, and their still together. My brother has broken up with her twice though for about 6-9 months each. But he always ran back. He was scared of being like my dad. He was scared of hurting her like my dad hurt my mom. He loved her too much. Because he thought he had to. He still thinks he has to. Hes stuck. & my heart hurts for him... So, since I've told him my honest truth about their relationship, finally. He wasnt talked to me. This is the longest we've gone without talking. Its been about 2 weeks.

If I could only express how much I miss him. How much I really need him in my life. I cant do this without him....

Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

I want him to be close to my daughter. The one time shes seen him, she lit up. Just like I do when I see him.

He's my big brother.